


An Altered State of Mind

by TheJediCode



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Drunk Hux, Drunken Confessions, Drunkenness, Eventual Smut, F/M, Finalizer (Star Wars), POV Female Character, POV Second Person, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, Self-Hatred, Smut, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-10-28 05:57:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 15,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10825185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheJediCode/pseuds/TheJediCode
Summary: You are the personal assistant to General Armitage Hux, one of the most powerful men in the galaxy.  After the destruction of his life's work, he looks for solace in his work and at the bottom of a bottle, making confessions he can't remember the next day.





	1. A Nighttime Disturbance

**Author's Note:**

> This is for all the rest of you folks out there who felt personally victimized by the lack of General Hux in the trailer for The Last Jedi.

You liked to consider yourself one of the First Order’s greatest assets.  It wasn’t an unfair description by any means.  Without you, things would be very different aboard the Finalizer.  Things ran smoothly and largely without incident, thanks to you.

“Good morning, General,” you said with a cheerful grin as the highest-ranking officer of the First Order walked past your desk.

“Good morning, (Y/N),” he replied with an agitated scowl.  If Hux was in a bad mood this early in the morning, that could only mean one thing.

“I take it you’ve already said hello to Commander Ren this morning.”

“A very astute observation, (Y/N).” He sighed heavily. “Another mainframe console has been irreparably damaged.”

“I’ll file a request form with the resources department and call a technician, sir.”

“Has the report from the latest recon mission come in yet?  The flight commander of the reconnaissance squadron was supposed to send it to me yesterday.”

“I received it ten minutes ago, and I already forwarded it to you, sir.  It should be in your inbox,” you informed him. “I can also have it printed if you want a hard copy for the records.”

General Hux took a moment to think about the offer.  “Hmm… No, I think I’ll read it over first, and if it includes anything important, I’ll let you know if I want a copy in print format.”

“Also, Lieutenant Mitaka requested to meet with you later this morning,” you said, checking off the next item on your list of memos for the General.

“I’m really not in the mood to-“

“Don’t worry, sir.  I told him you were unavailable,” you told him with a smile.

“What would I do without you, (Y/N)?”

“You’d never be able to leave your desk.”

“I’d be a very busy man,” he predicted.

“You already are a very busy man, General.”

“Don’t remind me,” he groaned, opening the door of his office.

You followed him in, continuing to read items of importance off of your list.  “You have a meeting at 14:00 with Captain Rodak from the Subjugator and a strategy meeting at 16:00.  Also, as much as I know you would like to avoid it, sir, you will need to meet with Lieutenant Mitaka eventually.”

“Fine, schedule it for some time tomorrow morning, but nothing too early.  I don’t think I can handle spending any length of time with him before 9:00.”

“I’ll add it to your calendar for 10:00 tomorrow morning and send you a reminder.  I forwarded you some messages for your consideration,” you added, “and that’s all I have for you this morning in terms of notes, sir.  I’ll keep you updated throughout the day and let you know if anything changes.  As always, I’ll be at my desk if you need anything.”

“Thank you, (Y/N).”

You had been General Hux’s secretary and personal assistant for past three (nearly four) years.  There was little that went on in the man’s life that didn’t go through you first.  It was a demanding job, keeping things in line for someone as important as Hux, but it was a necessary one.  Without you, he would be so flooded with calls, reports, and misaddressed messages that he would never be able to complete any of his actual work.  Being the foremost military leader of the First Order was hard enough without having to do secretarial work as well.  You were completely essential to the success of the First Order.  Not to mention that you were held in high regard by the General.

There was a certain amount of danger that went hand in hand with the job.  You served as the General’s closest confidant and often handled extremely sensitive and classified information.  That put you at an extremely high risk of kidnapping and interrogation.  You had undergone extensive training on how to handle rigorous questioning and torture, going through strikingly realistic simulations to prepare you for every possible contingency.  That risk was lowered somewhat, however, by the fact that you were rarely away from the General.  It would be nothing short of suicide to make an attempt on his life, and the Resistance knew that.  They had learned from experience when they lost one of their mercenaries in a botched assassination attempt that had only succeeded in killing the previous assistant to the General, your predecessor.

There was no time for rest during the day.  Your work never ceased.  If the General was working, so were you, and General Hux rarely stopped working.  Sleep came easy at the end of the day.  It was the thing you looked forward to the most.  You relished the feeling of a warm, soft bed and only wished you could spend more time in one.  You were already daydreaming about night dreaming when Hux closed his door and locked the office for the day.  

That was odd.  It was still so early in the day.  Hadn’t you just given him his morning briefing?  You were shocked to glance at the time display on your datapad and see that it was already 20:00.  It always amazed you how quickly time seemed to slip away when there was so much work to do.  You had hardly made a dent in your list of tasks to complete, and it wasn’t for lack of trying.

“Good evening, General,” you chirped in greeting when Hux stopped in front of your desk.  “Don’t forget, you have a meeting with Lieutenant Mitaka tomorrow morning at 10:00 and a hologram conference call with the command from the Subjugator at 15:00.”

“The Subjugator? Why did they send Captain Rodak to speak with me if we already had a conference scheduled?  This is a gross misuse of First Order funds.  We’re not made of credits.”

“I agree completely sir,” you nodded solemnly.  “That doesn’t change the fact that they’re expecting a meeting tomorrow afternoon.”

“I suppose not.  Are you planning on working late?” he asked.

“I was thinking about it, sir.  There’s still so much work to get done.  I have so many urgent messages piled up that I haven’t even been able to start on my scheduled tasks.  It’s going to take days to catch up.”

“I know exactly how you feel.  I’ve hardly gotten anything done lately.”

“I can forward you less of the-“

“That won’t be necessary, (Y/N).  If I don’t get the reports, it means you’re the one who has to deal with them, and you have enough to do already,” he observed.  “By the way, I would rather you not work late tonight.”

“Sir, if it’s a matter of credits, I’m okay with not being paid overtime.  It’s going to make my job easier tomorrow if I can make some progress tonight.  Maybe I’ll finally be able to catch up on everything.  I’ve already worked this late, anyway.  A couple more hours can’t do any harm.”

General Hux sighed and gave you a meaningful look.  “Do I have to make it an order, (Y/N)? I don’t want you working late.  You look exhausted, and I don’t want your health to suffer.”

Had the General just made an affectionate comment towards you?  The two of you had a healthy working relationship, probably a great deal closer than what most assistants had with their bosses, but General Hux was not known for his caring warmth.  In the years you had been working for him, it was only on very rare occasions that he expressed concern for your wellbeing. 

“You won’t be able to get _any_ work done if you’re stuck in the infirmary,” he added.

Ah, there it was – the stark professionalism that you knew all along must be lurking behind his words.  His concern was for efficiency, not for you.  It didn’t hurt your feelings.  You had come to expect such behavior from General Hux.  It would almost have made you uncomfortable for him to express fondness, although you knew he had a certain level of comfortable regard for you.  It just wasn’t in his nature to be affectionate towards others.

“I’ll be in my quarters for the rest of the evening.  If you need anything from me, I’ll be available by commlink or by message.  I will contact you if there is an emergency that requires your attention.”

“I’ll keep my line open, sir, as always,” you informed him.  “See you in the morning, General.”

“Good night, (Y/N), and remember: no overtime.”

With that, he walked away down the corridor.  It was a bit embarrassing, but you had always gleaned a certain amount of enjoyment from watching Hux leave at the end of the day.  There was something you liked about the way his immaculately polished boots clicked on the metal floor and the imposing shadow he cast on the wall.  Of course, you would never tell him about any of that.  You would be mortified if he ever found out that you watched him when he left.

You considered working a little bit longer, but Hux had all but commanded you not to stay late.  Not being one to disrespect the General’s wishes, you finished for the night and returned to your room.  Once you had changed into your pajamas and sunk into your mattress, you didn’t have a single regret about not working overtime.  Your warm, soft bed was infinitely preferable to your desk outside the door of the General Hux’s office.  It didn’t take long for you to drift off into a peaceful sleep.

A loud beeping sound woke you up much too early for your taste.  You couldn’t believe your alarm was already going off.  It hardly felt like you had gotten any sleep.  A glance at the red, glowing numbers on the clock that read 23:48 made you realize that the sound was not, in fact, your alarm.  You picked up your commlink from the bedside table. 

“Yes, sir?” you questioned, trying not to sound too drowsy as you answered the transmission on the private frequency that you and the General used to communicate directly.  Getting your attention this late at night could only mean that there was a dire emergency.

“(Y/N),” said the voice on the commlink, and then there was silence.  It didn’t sound at all like General Hux.  If it wasn’t him, though, who could it possibly be? 

“Sir? Sir?”

There was no answer.

“Sir?”

Silence.

You sprang out of bed and stuffed your feet into your boots, not bothering to take off your pajamas.  If this was as big of an emergency as it sounded, there was no time to change clothes.

If it wasn’t the General who had contacted you, that meant that someone else had his commlink.  If someone else had his commlink, that meant they had taken it from the General.  If they had taken it from the General… Well, you preferred not to think of the scenario that implied.

You ran as fast as you could down the corridor.  Hux’s quarters were in the same sector as yours, but they were all the way at the other end of the hall.  Your boots thudded heavily on the floor as you sprinted.  When you arrived at his door, your hands were shaking so much that it took a very concentrated effort to punch the passcode into the keypad.

The door slid open, and you rushed into the room, bracing yourself for whatever you might find.  With gritted teeth, you prepared yourself for every horrific scene that could possibly await you.  What you saw was…


	2. A Shocking Display

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What awaits you in Hux's quarters is something you were never meant to see.

…General Hux.

He was sitting on the sofa in his quarters.  Not another person was in sight, and everything in the room seemed to be in perfect order, as per usual.  The General himself, on the other hand, seemed to be in some sort of a daze.  The culprit did not appear to be an attacker of any kind, but rather the mostly-empty bottle dangling from his hand.

“General?” you said hesitantly, taking a nervous step towards the man.

“Armitage,” he mumbled, and although he spoke only one word, it was horribly slurred, just like the voice that had spoken over the commlink.  Realization was sinking in.

“Excuse me, sir?”

“My name is Armitage.”

“I’m aware of your name, General, I handle all of your files,” you reminded him.

“I would like it better if you called me Armitage,” he said, taking a drink directly from the bottle he held in his hand.  “Why are you in my quarters, (Y/N)?”

“You buzzed my commlink. I thought it was an emergency.”

“Are you wearing pajamas?” he asked accusingly, squinting hard at you.  Apparently, protocol was still important to General Hux when he was drunk.

“I thought it was a _very serious_ emergency, sir.  I thought you had been attacked.”

“And boots?” he continued, as if you hadn’t said anything.  The tone of his voice was a tad more judgmental than you thought was really necessary.

“Sir, how much have you had to drink?”

“Hmm…” He considered your question, appearing to be quite deep in thought before holding up the bottle and examining what little liquid remained inside.  “I believe this was full when I started.  I poured a glass, and then another, and then another, and eventually it just seemed easier to skip the glass altogether.”

That explained how out of sorts the General was.  You had never seen him look so sloppy in all the time you had been working for him.  The front of his uniform was unbuttoned, and the sleeves were pushed up.  Fiery red locks of his normally immaculate hair were lying lank against his forehead, and the rest stuck up at odd angles, as if he had repeatedly been running his fingers through his hair.  He was seated on the sofa, slouched back with his long legs spread wide and spanning quite a large distance.

It didn’t feel right to be seeing him like this.  It felt like something private and forbidden that you were witnessing, and you didn’t like it one bit.  You weren’t supposed to be experiencing this. It wasn’t your place to see General Hux drunk out of his mind and slurring his speech.  You were only supposed to know about perfect, commanding, sober Hux – not about this other part of him.  It was almost like walking in and seeing him in the shower; it felt like an invasion of his personal space.

“Sir, have you eaten anything today?” you interrogated, remembering that you had only seen him leave his office twice throughout the day, both times for meetings.

“Fuck,” he groaned, dragging a large hand across his pallid face.

You froze.  You had never heard the General swear before; it would have tarnished his spotless professional reputation, and Hux was nothing if not professional.

“Is that a no, sir?”

“I don’t think so.  Maybe breakfast.  Not after that, though.  I was too busy.  I guess that explains it.”

“I’m sorry, but what exactly does that explain, sir?  I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

“It explains why I’m so drunk.” Ah, so he knew he was hammered.  At least he was still self-aware. “I normally wouldn’t be reeling at this point.”

“Normally?” Yet another surprise. “Do you always drink like this?”

“Just since Starkiller.”

“Oh.”

Starkiller Base had been General Hux’s pride and joy, the culmination of his life’s work, and he had seen it destroyed before his very eyes.  Not only that, but it was due in part to the defection of a member of his precious Stormtrooper program.  For the first time, you realized that Hux was likely experiencing a lot of inner turmoil.  You had just assumed he had increased his work hours since the Resistance attack because there was simply more work to be done.  You had never considered that he was working to distract himself from the fact that years of effort had been destroyed in the blink of an eye.

“The whole thing,” he whispered, more to himself than to you, “gone.  An entire planet destroyed.  Now what do I have?” 

The General tipped back the bottle and drained it of what little golden-colored alcohol was left.  He stood up from the couch, swaying on his feet for a moment before walking to the table upon which sat several decanters and elegant crystal bottles of liquors with names you couldn’t quite pronounce. 

“Want a drink?” he propositioned as he pulled the stopper out of a bottle and poured two glasses of something clear.

“No thanks, sir, I probably shouldn’t.”

“Why? Are you afraid you’ll get in trouble with your superior offer?” he jeered with a roll of his eyes.

“Fine, sure,” you conceded.  Drunk Hux was a bit of a jerk. “Just one, though.”

You were immediately glad that you had limited yourself to one drink because whatever he had poured was quite possibly the foulest liquor you had ever encountered.  It smelled like jet fuel and didn’t taste much better.  It burned your throat more than you thought was possible, but Hux didn’t even blink an eye as he swallowed the offensive substance all in one go.  You wondered again just how much he had been drinking lately.  He poured himself another glass before returning to his seat.

“General, are you really sure you should keep drinking? It’s late, and we both have to work tomorrow.”

“(Y/N),” he said softly, his voice sounded different than you had ever heard it before.  What was that sound you detected?  Was it… fear? Concern?  You couldn’t quite put your finger on it.  “(Y/N), do people like me?”

The question struck you like blaster fire.  How were you supposed to answer something like that?  You weren’t even sure you knew the answer yourself.  _Did_ people like General Hux? Perhaps, but perhaps they just treated him with respect.

“Where is this coming from, General?  Of course people like you.” You decided to go with the safest answer.

“I doubt that,” he scoffed.  “I’m hardly a likeable person.  I think they’re all just afraid of me.  What about you?”

“Excuse me, sir?” You were taken aback by his sudden shift to you. “Are you asking if I like you, or if I’m afraid of you?”

“Either,” he said with a dismissive wave of his hand.  “Both.”

“Well, I like you well enough, sir.  I wouldn’t still be here if I didn’t.”  That was surely the truth.  You would have stepped out the second you saw the bottle in his hand.

“And?”

“And what?”

His eyes widened, and he looked at you very seriously.  “Are you afraid of me?”

“Well, General, I have a lot of respect for you, and I understand the extent of your power and what you’re capable of.  I’m not afraid of you, per say, but I think I have a healthy fear of your position and skills, sir.” You stared at your empty glass as you spoke, not willing to make eye contact with him.  “Oh no!” you shouted as you looked up. “General? Sir?”

You had been standing awkwardly in the same place since you first arrived in General Hux’s quarters, but now you rushed over to where he was currently slumped to the side, seemingly unconscious.

“Sir?” you shook him by the shoulders.  There was no response. “General Hux?  This can’t be happening.”

He had passed out.  The General had passed out, and you were alone with no idea what to do.  You ran through a list of things you thought you might know about how to take care of an intoxicated person.  A cold shower should snap him out of it, shouldn’t it?  Wait, no, you read somewhere that it was dangerous and could cause him to go into shock.  Not to mention that you would either have to take off his clothes or risk ruining his uniform, neither of which was a desirable option.  Everything else you could think of had become completely inapplicable the moment he became unconscious.

In the end, you decided that the best option was to somehow get him into bed.  Allowing him to sleep it off seemed like the wisest decision.  You slipped your arms under both of his and attempted to lift him from the couch.  General Hux was not a small man, and you greatly underestimated how difficult it would be to support his weight.  When you finally managed to stand him up, you realized that you were essentially bear hugging him and that it would be impossible to walk like that.  You half-dragged him all the way to his bedroom, which was through a door off to the side of the room.  When you got him there, you dropped him onto the mattress with a graceless thud, grabbing his legs and swinging them onto the bed after his torso.

It took a moment to catch your breath after lugging a full-grown man across such a long distance.  You turned him over onto his side, thinking that you had once heard that he could otherwise choke on his own vomit and die.  A dead General was the absolute last thing in the galaxy you wanted to deal with at the moment.  It crossed your mind to take off his uniform, but the prospect of undressing him was far too daunting to actually do so.  In the end, you decided just to pull off his already unbuttoned shirt.

You dug around in his drawers until you found some pain pills, which you knew he would appreciate in the morning.  Rooting through his personal belongings didn’t bother you.  There was little you didn’t know about General Hux, and it would be nearly impossible to see something more shocking than what you had already witnessed.  Next, you took a glass from the table with the various liquors and filled it up with water from the bathroom sink, setting both the glass and the pills on his bedside table.

You were about to leave and go back to your own quarters when you thought better of it.  What if something happened to the General?  You didn’t want to leave him all alone in such a state.  You wanted to be there in case he woke up and needed something, but you also needed to sleep.  You eventually resolved to sleep on the sofa.


	3. A Forgettable Experience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> General Hux has no memory of the night before, but he does have a few guesses as to what happened.

You were awakened the next morning by an ear-piercing alarm and the most unholy groaning you had ever heard in your life.  It took a moment for you to adjust to your surroundings and realize where you were.  The second you tried to sit upright, you regretted your decision to sleep on the General’s sofa.  Every join and muscle in your entire body ached, and you wished you could go back to sleep in your own bed.

General Hux shuffled out of his bedroom with his water glass in hand, apparently already having taken the pills you set out for him.  He didn’t seem to notice your presence, even though he walked right by you on the way to the bathroom.  You heard the sink running for quite some time before he began the trek back to his bedroom.  He must have woken up at some point in the night and removed his uniform pants because the General was wearing nothing but his underwear. 

“Good morning, General,” you said in your customary fashion, causing him to look towards you with red, bloodshot eyes.

He pinched the bridge of his nose before letting out another pained groan and asking, “What did I do last night?”  He seemed to notice your pajamas and realized for the first time that he wasn’t wearing clothes.  He looked back and forth from you to his underwear, as if he were trying to make sense of everything. “I didn’t… You… Did we… Oh god, I apologize.  I can’t remember what happened last night.”

“Nothing at all?”

“Not after you showed up, although I’m starting to piece some of it together, unfortunately.”

“Wait, what do you think happened last night? Maybe I can help you sort it all out.”

He paused and considered things for a moment. “Well, I had a glass of… something.  It was brown, I think – probably brandy, most likely from Corellia.  That turned into two glasses, and then three, then an entire bottle.  I called you on your commlink and made some rather embarrassing confessions I’m sure you remember quite well.  I’m assuming I asked you to come to my quarters because you’re still here now.” He took another moment to think.  “From there, I can only guess.  

“I see two empty glasses, so you must have had a drink.  You slept on my sofa, and you’re wearing your pajamas.  I’m not wearing clothes at all.  From that, I gather that we had sex but I made an ass of myself and did something to piss you off, so you slept out here instead of with me.  I suppose I need to improve my bedside manner. 

“Still, this brings up several questions I don’t know the answers to that you might be able to enlighten me about.  Number one:  did I force you to do anything against your will?  Number two:  did I use any kind of protection?  Number three:  were you drunk as well, or was it just me?  Number four:  was it at least somewhat enjoyable for you, or was I completely selfish?  And finally, number five:  what did I say to you that made you choose to sleep on my sofa?  I want to avoid saying it again in the future, if at all possible.”

You were dumbfounded.  General Hux was casually discussing sex with you as if there was nothing strange about it.  Then again, he was under the impression that what he was talking about actually happened.  Why would he be bashful discussing it if the two of you had spent the night fucking?  Furthermore, you were shocked that he did not even sound the slightest bit regretful.

“General, sir,” you said meekly, clearing your throat, “you never… We didn’t… Um, we didn’t sleep together last night.  You drank until you passed out, so I put you in bed.  I took your shirt off because it was already unbuttoned, and you must have taken your pants off during the night.  You never even made any sexual advances towards me, and you definitely didn’t make any embarrassing confessions over the commlink.  You said my name and then never responded to my transmissions.  I came here because I thought you had been attacked or something.”

He exhaled very deeply and closed his eyes for a moment, trying his best to cope with the massive hangover he must have been experiencing. “That’s quite a relief.  Not a relief that you thought I had been attacked, of course, but that I didn’t make any unwanted sexual advances towards you.  As for the commlink, I could have sworn that I spoke to you at length, but I must be imagining that.”

“I guess you must be.  You weren’t exactly coherent, sir, if you don’t mind me saying that.”

General Hux didn’t hear you, though, because the moment you began speaking, he had sprinted to the bathroom, where you could hear him retching loudly into the toilet.  You took that as your cue to leave.


	4. An Incorrect Frequency

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things don't always run with 100% efficiency on the Finalizer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized that 3/8 of my fics are about General Hux. I have no regrets about this.

You were already waiting at your desk when the General arrived at his office.  It was a long walk from his quarters to this sector of the ship, and something told you that he had made the trip very slowly.  He looked absolutely awful.

“Good morning, General,” you greeted him once more.  He responded with a grunt of acknowledgement.  “I took the liberty of postponing your morning meeting with Lieutenant Mitaka indefinitely.  I’ve also contacted Captain Rodak from the Subjugator, the one you met with yesterday, and he says that today’s hologram conference call should not be necessary since you already discussed the subject matter that was supposed to be covered in the call.  It was cancelled.  That means you have no scheduled events for today, unless you want to speak with Mitaka, which can take place at your liberty.”

Hux seemed lost in thought while you spoke to him.  “(Y/N),” he interrupted as you continued to speak about his appointments for the week, “last night, I seem to remember asking you to call me Armitage.  Did that really happen, or am I just imagining that like the commlink?”

“No, General, you did ask me to call you by your first name, but you don’t have to worry about that.  I’ll still address you formally, sir.  I don’t want to cause you any disrespect.”

“Actually, it wouldn’t bother me if you did refer to me as Armitage.  There’s no one on this ship I trust more than you, (Y/N).  In hindsight, it seems a bit ridiculous that I haven’t allowed you to use my first name after all this time.”

“By the way, there’s something hot and caffeinated waiting for you on your desk.”

“You’re absolutely irreplaceable,” he informed you appreciatively.

Hux was working in his office when an unscheduled visitor came by.  It was the last person you expected to see at your desk, but it only made sense considering the odd morning you were having.

“I need to have a word with General Hux,” an intimidating modulated voice spoke, startling you from your paperwork. 

“Would you like to meet with him directly, Commander Ren?  I can arrange a time for you to speak with him,” you informed the masked man.

“That won’t be necessary,” Kylo Ren said. You hated that mask he wore.  You could never tell what kind of mood he was in, although it most often ended up being an unhappy one.  “I just need you to deliver a message to him.”

“Of course, Commander.”  You grabbed a pen and notepad from a desk drawer.  “What would you like me to tell him.”

“Inform the General that I was flattered by his transmission last night, but the next time he confesses his undying affection, he should make sure he’s using the correct frequency on his commlink.”

The pen in your hand dropped to the floor.  The commlink – Hux hadn’t imagined it after all.  He had made a confession just like he thought.  He had just made it to Kylo Ren instead of you, but that meant…

Oh.

That meant General Hux had intended to disclose his personal feelings to _you_.

_Oh._


	5. An Ill-Advised Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You make another late night visit to the General's quarters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who else felt very blessed by the image of General Hux on that Vanity Fair cover that all of the official Star Wars social media pages shared?

You decided it was best to keep things quiet. While you weren’t in the habit of lying to General Hux, you did sometimes take precautions to make sure that certain occurrences on the ship slipped quietly into oblivion without his knowledge. It was only on rare occasions, and it always had something to do with Kylo Ren. It was really better if he didn’t hear about this. Keeping things from Hux always made you nervous, but he never seemed to suspect that you weren’t being completely honest with him. He was probably too busy to notice.

  
General Hux would be mortified if he found out that he had accidentally made a drunk confession about his feelings of attraction to Kylo Ren. Not to mention the fact that Commander Ren would never let him live it down.

  
The lingering chance that Ren might bring the topic up in conversation was enough to convince you to change your mind. You had to tell General Hux about what he had done. You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if you didn’t. Although, chances were good that the General wouldn’t be able to live with himself if you did.

  
You were debating whether or not to tell Hux what he had said to the Commander well into the night. Falling asleep was usually not a difficult task for you, but you were tossing and turning in bed, unable to find rest as you grappled with indecision. You realized at some point in the night that you wouldn’t be able to sleep until you told the General the complete truth.

  
What you were doing was ridiculous, you observed as you dragged your feet down the hallway. The sound of your shuffling steps on the metal floor sounded pathetic in your ears, and you felt more foolish by the second. It couldn’t possibly be a good idea to knock on General Hux’s door in the middle of the night. He would surely be asleep, and if you woke him up, he wouldn’t be pleased.

  
Nevertheless, you rapped your knuckles sharply against the durasteel door that led to his quarters. You were surprised when the door slid open almost immediately and General Hux greeted you with a surprised frown.

  
“(Y/N), what are you doing here?” he asked. He didn’t seem angry, just caught off guard. “It’s the middle of the night.”

  
“Sir, I have something really important to tell you about what happened last night and…” You became aware of the half-empty glass in his hand.

  
“I’m not drunk, if that’s what you’re wondering,” he explained, noticing where your line of sight led. “Accidentally telling Ren that I was in love with him over the commlink last night was enough to deter me for a while.”

“Oh, you already knew about that?”

  
“He told me about an hour ago. Wait, how do you know about it?” he demanded.

  
“He came by my desk earlier today and told me to pass the message along to you. I was just coming to tell you.”

  
“At 01:00?” He raised an eyebrow inquisitively. He seemed more amused than upset.

  
“Yes, sir.”

  
“And that’s the only reason you came? There’s other purpose for your visit?”

  
“Sir?” You weren’t quite sure what he was hinting at.

  
“This doesn’t have anything to do with the specific content of the commlink message?” He sounded genuinely shocked to discover the possibility that you had arrived with no ulterior motives.

  
“Maybe a little bit,” you admitted. “I know it was meant for me.”

  
“In my defense, I was very intoxicated.”

  
“I know, sir.”

  
“You don’t have to call me sir, (Y/N).”

  
“Sorry, sir.”

  
“I wasn’t exactly in a sound state of mind, although I supposed that I was quite confident about what I was saying at the time,” he divulged. “I certainly would have toned things down a bit if I knew I was speaking to Kylo Ren. He’ll never let me forget about this.”

  
“Sir… Armitage,” you corrected yourself. It felt strange to call him by his first name – strange, but not entirely unpleasant, “what exactly did you say?”

  
“I don’t remember the specifics,” he blushed. “I can’t remember most of last night, honestly. The gist of it, though… Well, I think that I had intended to tell you how much I appreciate the work you do, or something of the sort, and I…” He cleared his throat nervously. “I got a bit carried away and might have declared my undying love for you, or something along those lines.”

  
“Oh,” you said.

  
“I might also have made some comments that were, ah, a bit… sexual in nature.” He tugged at his collar as if it had suddenly become restricting.

  
“Oh.” You weren’t sure what else to say. Hearing the confirmation from General Hux’s own mouth made you question your own feelings towards him. He had never expressed any kind of affection to you, let alone displayed any kind of romantic feelings. This new revelation was a lot to digest.

  
“Of course, I was horribly intoxicated at the time,” he quickly added. “While that doesn’t excuse my actions or make the things I said any less inappropriate, you can take some comfort in knowing that I didn’t really mean any of it.”

  
“You didn’t?”

  
“Of course not. I was well on my way to blacking out. I’m sure I was spouting all sorts of nonsense.”

  
“Right…” You scolded yourself for being disappointed. How could you have let yourself get so excited about the thought of General having feelings for you? He was obviously too drunk to have known what he was saying. “Right, of course.”

  
Part of you, though, didn’t accept his words at face value. There was a notion lingering in your mind, gnawing at the edges of rational thought, that maybe he wasn’t being completely honest with you. Perhaps you deserved it for all the times you had occasionally withheld small bits of information from him, but you couldn’t let go of the fact that maybe – just maybe – the General actually did have some type of feelings for you that extended beyond professionalism. Just how much of what he had confessed over the commlink had been the truth?


	6. A Startling Conclusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The General's reaction to your conversation with another officer leads you to make what seems like a very logical assumption.

As the days passed, what little hope you had that General Hux might admit his true feelings for you faded away.  Before his spontaneous drunk confession to Kylo Ren, you had never really considered the possibility of a relationship with your boss.  For several days following the incident, though, you couldn’t get it out of your head.  It was all you could think about. 

Eventually, though, it became clear that he wasn’t harboring any sort of romantic emotions towards you.  It was exactly like he had said:  he was drunk, and he wasn’t making sense.  That was all that had happened.  Believing anything else simply meant you were fooling yourself.

“Good morning, sir,” you greeted the General as he approached your desk.  Amidst the complications that had arisen in your relationship with him, you had found it much easier to refrain from calling him Armitage.  He seemed to understand that your hesitation stemmed from the somewhat awkward encounter you had in his quarters and didn’t push the matter any further.  “I have six mission reports awaiting your examination, as well as a maintenance supply acquisition form that needs your signature.”

“Kylo Ren?” he asked, signing the paper that you held out to him.

“Of course, sir.  Who else would have destroyed an entire communications transmission panel?”

He sighed.  “I don’t know how much longer I can put up with his nonsense.  He’s tearing apart my ship, (Y/N).  I won’t stand for it.  His mindless destruction has already cost the First Order thousands of credits.  We can’t operate efficiently if all of our equipment is broken.”

“I know, sir.”

“Am I boring you?” he asked, narrowing his eyes at you, much like he had done when he was intoxicated and noticed that you were wearing pajamas.  His tone was somewhat accusatory when he initially spoke.  However, his voice softened along with his expression when he said, “I suppose I’ve said all of this before.   I’m sorry for making you listen to me rant about this for the millionth time.”

“It’s quite alright, sir,” you assured him.

“Six mission reports,” General Hux thought aloud. “Is that the extent of my morning briefing?”

“Besides the caf waiting for you on your desk, I don’t have anything else for you.”

“Thank you, (Y/N).” With that, he disappeared into his office.

After the General began his work, you dove into the files full of paperwork on your datapad that needed to be sorted and read.  The minutes blended into hours as you worked and you lost track of time.  At some point in the day, the sound of footsteps approaching your desk caught your attention.  You looked up to see a young officer with a permanent look of consternation plastered across his face.

“Can I help you, Lieutenant Mitaka?” you inquired amiably of him.

“Yes, I was wondering if there was any way that the meeting I requested with General Hux could be scheduled for a specific time slot,” he told you.  “There are matters that I really do need to discuss with him at some point.  I promise that it’s important.”

“Let me check the General’s schedule.  It’ll only take one moment, Lieutenant.” You pulled up a calendar on your datapad and scanned for an opening.  “Hmmm… It looks like he’s free tomorrow at 15:00.  Does that work for you?”

“That’s perfect.  Thank you.  Sorry for taking up your time,” Mitaka apologized.  “I know you have a lot of work to do.”

“Today’s no different than any other day.  I have all kinds of files I need to read and forward and an entire folder of memos to sort through. Sometimes it’s good to have a brief distraction from all of the work.”

“It seems like it could get overwhelming,” he observed.

“Sometimes,” you admitted.  “It’s been especially bad for the past couple of weeks.  It seems like the work never ends.  As soon as I complete one task, I have five more lined up to take its place.”

“I’ve noticed that I rarely see you in the commissary at meal times,” he mentioned curiously.

“Oh, I keep odd hours because I’m so busy all the time.  I usually swing by the kitchens and pick something up whenever I finally get a chance.  The hours really get away from me sometimes when I’m working.”

“Well, you’re always welcome to sit with me if you ever make it to a regular mealtime one day.”

You and Lieutenant Mitaka continued to chat good-naturedly until General Hux stepped out of his office and narrowed his eyes at him.  “Lieutenant, stop flirting with my assistant.  She has enough to attend to without you bothering her while she is on duty. You have work to do.  I suggest you go do it, and stop wasting (Y/N)’s time.”

“Yes, sir,” Mitaka replied, quickly scurrying away, his fear of Hux quite evident from his hasty retreat.

“What did he want?” General Hux asked when the Lieutenant was gone.

“He was trying to reschedule his meeting with you.  I penciled him in for 15:00 tomorrow, by the way.”

“That’s all?  Did he say anything else?  Was he bothering you?”

“No, we talked for a little bit, but no other business was discussed.  He just invited me to sit by him in the commissary sometime.”

“And?”

“And what, sir?” You didn’t understand why he was grilling you with questions.

“And what did you tell him?” the General asked incredulously, as if his implication had been the most obvious thing in the world.

“I told him that I’m generally busy during serving hours, but I’ll sit with him the next time I make it to a regularly scheduled meal.”

“Very well then.  Do you have any new notes for me, (Y/N)?”

“Yes, sir,” you informed him, looking down at your datapad where you had pulled up a memo for General Hux.  “The Jakku recon team returned a couple of hours ago.  Their reports are negative.  No new Resistance activity has been sighted in the planet’s atmosphere or the surrounding space.  The reports of a base being built seem to be entirely false.”

“Good, good,” he nodded.

You read the rest of the new briefings to the General, but your mind was on other matters as you filled him in on the latest information.  You kept thinking back to how he had spoken to Lieutenant Mitaka, and you reached a startling conclusion:  General Armitage Hux was jealous.


	7. An Unlikely Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your scheme to find out if Hux is jealous is a failure, but you have a few more tricks up your sleeve.

Surely it was all in your head.  You were clearly jumping to conclusions based on what little information you had.  Obviously, General Hux was not jealous of Mitaka, the dopey lieutenant who always seemed to be the butt of the jokes the other officers told.  Besides, you had already established that the General didn’t harbor any kind of romantic feelings for you. 

Still, it couldn’t hurt to test the theory, could it?  If the General was indeed jealous, it might do you some good to be sure.  Maybe you could make him a little _more_ jealous.

“I’m stepping out for lunch,” you announced to Hux one day, peeking your head inside his door.  “Is that okay, sir?”

He looked at the time display on his datapad.  “Isn’t it a little early for lunch?”

“It’s actually within the regularly scheduled lunch hours, sir,” you informed him.  “I thought I might eat with some of the other crew members today instead of grabbing something from the kitchen after the commissary closes.  Only if it’s okay with you, though, General.  I can wait until later.”

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “You never take a lunch break with the other crew members.  What’s this about?”

“I just thought it would be a nice change of pace, and I could get to know some of the officers.”

“Officers like Lieutenant Mitaka?” He raised an eyebrow speculatively when he spoke.

“Well, yes,” you admitted.  “I did intend to sit with Mitaka.”

“Are you and the young Lieutenant in some sort of romantic or sexual relationship?” Hux asked very bluntly.

“No, sir,” you said, taken aback by his lack of subtlety, “not that it would be any of your business if we were.”

“Good,” he said flatly.  “I’ll have you know that I do not condone shipboard romances, (Y/N).  They hurt First Order efficiency and almost always have a messy end.”

“Thank you for your concern, General, but I think I can manage my own affairs well enough on my own.”

“Very well then.  I have no reason to doubt your discernment.”

Your first attempt to make General Hux jealous seemed to be a complete waste of time.  You only succeeded in becoming more confused, and Mitaka, although very nice, was a bit of a boring person to be around.  Hux seemed to be uncomfortable with the thought of you spending time with Lieutenant Mitaka instead of with him, but he also made a point of condemning relationships in the workplace.  Maybe he just didn’t like the thought of you being romantically involved with anyone at all, including himself.  It was entirely plausible that his only concern was for your efficiency as his assistant.

You just couldn’t ever tell what was going on inside the General’s head.  He could be such an enigma sometimes.

There was only one way to find out for sure if he was really and truly jealous, and that was to continue your efforts.

It was easier than you expected to start spending more time with Lieutenant Mitaka.  Despite the fact that you found him a bit dull, he was kindhearted and not entirely unpleasant to spend time with.  It was not difficult to find excuses to speak to him either.  Conversation was as simple as stopping him whenever he walked by your desk.  You were especially sure to call out to him when you were sure General Hux was watching.

“Good afternoon, (Y/N),” Mitaka acknowledged one day as he strode past your desk on his way down the corridor.  “Good afternoon, General,” he added when he saw that Hux was standing at your desk, rifling through a stack of papers.

“How are you today, Dopheld?” you asked when he stopped hesitantly as he passed.  His faltering was evidently caused by the General’s austere presence.

“Excellent, and yourself?”

“Great,” you informed him cheerfully, ignoring the irritated look on Hux’s face.  “Sorry I couldn’t make it for lunch today.  I’ll make it up to you.  I promise.”

“Dinner tonight then?” he asked, facing you but glancing sidelong at your superior, as if waiting for the man to deny the request being made of you.

“Of course,” you assured the Lieutenant.  “I’ll see you then.”

“I look forward to it,” Mitaka smiled, giving you a slight nod before going off on his way.

General Hux looked back and forth between you and Lieutenant Mitaka’s retreating form, trying to somehow decipher the interaction he had just witnessed.

“Since when are you and Mitaka on a first name basis?” he questioned accusatorily.

“Have I done something wrong, sir?” you asked him, taking care to scrutinize his reply.

“No, but you and the Lieutenant seem to have spending quite a bit of time together recently.”

“Yes, sir, I guess we have.  It’s kind of funny, isn’t it?” you observed.  “I’ve been working on this ship for years, but I’m only just beginning to form relationships with the other people on board.”

The General stiffened.  “Don’t believe that you’re without companionship on the _Finalizer_ , (Y/N) _._ I consider you to be a friend.  While I might be a bit of a pain to be around, you can feel free to discuss anything with me.”

You were taken aback.  “Sir, I’ve never considered you anything but my superior.”

He frowned.  “Have I made you uncomfortable?”

“No, sir.  Hearing you say that is just a bit of a surprise.  I guess I just never received that impression from you.”

“I suppose I don’t have the most inviting personality, and I also suppose that I could have been more intentional in my approach to friendship.  I didn’t realize that you were lonely.  If I had noticed, I would have made more of an effort.  I apologize, (Y/N).”

“You don’t have to apologize to me, sir,” you assured him. 

“Well, considering I’ve been a bit of an ass towards you lately, I think some sort of apology is in order.”

An apology was that last of your concerns.  What you really wanted was an answer to the questions gnawing at the edges of your mind, once and for all.  Was Hux really jealous?  Had he really meant to confess his feelings to you over the commlink that night?  Furthermore, what even were the General’s feelings towards you?

Suddenly, the answer to all of your problems seemed so obvious.  What was it that had made General Hux spill his secrets in the past?  What had gotten the two of you into this whole awkward mess to begin with?  What was almost certain to make him confess his feelings again?

Alcohol.

You just had to get Hux drunk again.  It was as simple as that.  The only problem was figuring out how to get him hammered.


	8. A Foolish Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You come up with a plan to get the truth from General Hux.

Before you finished your work one evening, you formulated a plan, albeit a very unintelligent one.  It was clearly doomed to failure before it was even completely crafted.  It was certainly not the smartest idea you had ever conceived.

After retiring to your quarters for the evening, sometime around 22:00 due to an urgent message from the _Subjugator_ that head to be dealt with immediately, you changed into your pajamas.  You were so tired that you almost considered abandoning your plans for the evening and crawling into your bed to sleep.  Instead, you stood in front of the mirror in the refresher, carefully combing your hair.  You made sure that your appearance was in order and stared at your reflection in the mirror.  You undid the top couple of buttons on your pajama top, wondering for a moment if that would give the wrong impression when you showed up at the General’s quarters before quickly rebuttoning one of them.

You knocked on his door with as much confidence as you could muster, which was barely any at all.  You felt small and insignificant waiting in the hallway for him to answer.  It seemed like an eternity had passed before a somewhat annoyed-looking General Hux opened the door.  The irritated look faded quickly from his face when he saw that it was you standing outside.

“(Y/N), is something wrong?” he asked, his voice full of concern.

“I’m sorry to bother you this late at night, sir,” you said, surprised that it took very little effort to make yourself sound frazzled.  “You had just said the other day that I could consider you a friend and feel comfortable discussing anything with you.”

“I did say that,” he acknowledged, sitting down on the sofa and gesturing for you to take a seat as well.  “What’s bothering you this late?”

“I’ve just been feeling overwhelmed lately, sir,” you told him, not untruthfully.

“I know the feeling,” he sighed.  “It doesn’t seem like it was all that long ago that both of our jobs were much easier.”

You smiled.  “I’m not sure your job was ever an easy one, sir.  It certainly hasn’t been in the time that I’ve worked for you.”

“How long has that been now?”

“Three years, almost four years now, sir.”

“Less than four years,” he acknowledged with some surprise. “It feels like I’ve known you much longer than that.  In fact, I can barely even remember my last assistant.”

“I suppose we are a quite replaceable bunch.”

“No, not you.  I don’t think I could ever find someone to fill your position if something were ever to happen to you.  You’re too valuable.”

“Thanks,” you said sheepishly.

“I mean that,” he affirmed.  “I know I push you too hard sometimes, but I’ve never heard you complain once.  You do everything I ask of you, and you do it well.  I’ve never met anyone who works as hard as you do.”

“Besides yourself,” you pointed out.  “I’m just here to lighten your load.  You’re the one who does all the difficult stuff.  I could never be a general.”

“I suppose that means both of us are right where we belong,” he mused.

“I suppose so.”

“Did you really come here this late at night just to tell me you were feeling overwhelmed?”

“Well…”

As if he read your mind, General Hux stood and crossed the room to where he kept his many bottles of liquor.  “Can I interest you in a drink?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

“You certainly can.”

“What do you have in mind?”

“What do you suggest?”

“Hmm…” he thought for a moment.  “Well, that depends on what your goal is for the evening.”

You fought back a smile.  If only Hux knew what was up your sleeve.  Your real purpose for being in his quarters was to get him plastered so he would spill his secrets about his true feelings towards you. 

“I’m not sure I understand.”

“Are you looking to take the edge off, forget about what’s bothering you, or black out completely?” he clarified.  “I myself tend to waver back and forth between options number two and number three.”

“I’m a bit of a lightweight,” you confessed.  “I probably shouldn’t start out with anything too strong.”

The General reached for a glass bottle with a beautiful stopper in the top that glinted stunningly in the artificial overhead lighting.  You weren’t sure what it was, but the contents that he poured into a glass were a light blue color.  He then picked up a mostly empty glass of amber liquor and topped it off from a nearby bottle.  You realized that he had been drinking before you arrived, thus making your plan that much easier to execute.

“Thanks,” you said when he handed you your glass.  You took a sip and found the drink to be pleasantly sweet, something you had not been expecting.  Your mind harkened back to the previous drink you had partaken of in Hux’s quarters, which had been a harsh, foul liquid that could have stripped the paint off of a stormtrooper’s armor.

“Be careful,” he warned.  “The taste is deceptive.  While it may not be as strong as the rest of this, it can still put you on the floor if you aren’t careful.”

“How much of that have you had?” you asked, nodding your head towards his drink.

Hux shot you a guilty look, but he waved off your question as inconsequential.  “Oh, not much.”

“But, like, how many?”

“This is only the second.”  After speaking, he took a sip.

“What is it?”

“Corellian brandy,” he informed you.  You knew about that stuff.  It was rather expensive, a popular cargo item among smugglers, and for good reason.  It had a reputation for being the best and some of the strongest liquor available in the galaxy.

“If I drank two glasses of that, I would already be incoherent.”

“I suppose I’ve built up a tolerance.”

With that, General Hux drained his glass, and you got the feeling that your foolish plan might just work.


	9. A Wake Up Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up in the morning can be difficult.

There was little in the galaxy that you loved more than the feeling of falling into bed at the end of a long, hard day.  You loved to wrap yourself up in your blankets and snuggle into a cocoon of warmth and comfort.  Going to bed was almost like going home, a place you hadn’t been in years.  A night of good sleep was something you cherished, especially when you were exhausted.

Waking up in the morning, you relished the feeling of silky sheets sliding over your skin as you rolled over.  The soft mattress was far too comfortable to leave, and the covers too warm.  You tried to open your eyes, but the room was unbearably bright.  You pulled a pillow over your face to block out the light.  When you yawned, you inhaled the familiar scent that lingered on the pillowcase.  It smelled like soap; and leather, just faintly; and…

…and aftershave.

Your whole body stiffened.  Suddenly, what had been a comfortable situation became concerning.  Your pillows didn’t smell like leather or aftershave.  You didn’t leave the lights on when you slept.  Your sheets weren’t silky, and your mattress, although comfortable, was not as soft as the one you were lying on.  Furthermore, no alarm was blaring to wake you up, and in that case, what had awoken you?

“(Y/N),” a voice said softly as a hand gently shook your shoulder.  “(Y/N), you need to wake up.”

You slowly slid the pillow down your face, squinting against the light as your eyes adjusted.  Fortunately, a large shadow was being cast across your face.  It still took a moment to regain your sight enough to realize that the object making the shadow was not an object at all, but rather a person.

General Hux was standing over you, his hand still on your shoulder.  He was dressed in full uniform, but his hair was a mess and looked damp, leaving you very confused as to what time it might be.  Was it still night, meaning that he hadn’t changed out of his clothes yet, or was it morning, meaning that he had just put them on.  His collar seemed a bit too stiff to have seen a day’s worth of wear already, leading you to believe that it was, in fact, morning.

That meant you had spent the night in General Hux’s bed.

“How are you feeling?” he asked you with concern.

You tried to sit up and answer him, but the second you lifted your head, you were wracked with a splitting headache that threatened to make you pass out.  You scrunched up your face in pain and fell back against the pillows.

“I assume that means you aren’t doing well,” Hux noted.  “Honestly, that isn’t very surprising after last night.”

“What happened?” you groaned.

“You don’t remember?”

“No.”

“Well, you were certainly telling the truth when you said that you can’t handle your liquor very well.”

“Did we…  you know…”

“What?”

“You know…” you repeated, nodding your head slightly as if that served as proper elaboration.  You figured that if he didn’t understand what you were alluding to, nothing had happened.  It seemed best just to change the topic.  “Why am I in your bed?”

“You were too drunk to walk back to your quarters.”

“I couldn’t walk?”

“You could,” he informed you, “barely, but I didn’t think you were coherent enough to make it there without getting lost.  I also thought it would be best if you weren’t left alone.”

“That bad, huh?”

“I slept on the sofa.”

“Wait, why didn’t you sleep in your bed?”

“Because I was letting you sleep in it,” he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Yeah, but I should have been the one who slept on the couch.  This is your room.”

“Just consider it reciprocation for the last time you spent the night here.”

You tried to get out of his bed, but the moment your feet hit the floor, you felt like you were about to vomit.  General Hux grabbed you by the shoulders to steady you, and you eased back into bed.

“You don’t have to work this morning,” he told you, looking at you cautiously, as if you might explode at any moment, which was true, in a way.  “It’s alright.  It’s fine if you stay here, too.  You don’t have to try to go back to your quarters.”

“No, I have to get up,” you insisted.  “There’s too much work that needs to be done, and it won’t ever get finished if I’m not there to do it.  Besides, what will you do without an assistant for the day?”

“I have no idea, but I’ll manage.  I think it’s best if you just rest for a while.”

“I need to work.”

“No,” he contended, “you do not.”

“You need me.”

“While that’s very true, I can’t in good conscience allow you to exert yourself.”

“Why not?”

“Because this is all my fault in the first place.”

“How?”

“Well,” he cleared his throat nervously, “I might have… _encouraged_ you a bit more than I should have.  You certainly had a lot of negative peer pressure.  I didn’t give you anything stronger than what you asked for, but I persuaded you to drink more than you would have otherwise.”

“Why would you do that?” You didn’t feel hurt or betrayed that he had intentionally gotten you hammered.  He hadn’t spiked your drink or taken advantage of you in any way. No, you weren’t angry with him, but you were confused as to what his motivation might be.  Frankly, it didn’t make much sense.

“Let’s call it… counterintelligence.”

“Counterintelligence? What are you talking about?” you inquired.  General Hux seemed to be making less and less sense by the minute.

“Yes, counterintelligence,” he mused.  “I believe the Imperial Military Strategy Guide I studied when I was at the Academy described it as ‘activities designed to prevent or thwart spying or intelligence gathering by an enemy or other outside entity.’  Does that sound familiar to you?”

“Yes, sir, I’m familiar with the definition.”

“That’s not what I’m asking, (Y/N).”

“I’m not sure what you _are_ asking, sir,” you told him quite truthfully.

“I know why you came here last night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know everyone was expecting some drunk Hux. I'm sorry to disappoint in this chapter, but there will definitely be more intoxicated shenanigans in the future.


	10. A Truth Withheld

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You demand the truth from General Hux.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while since I've updated, but that's because I broke the flash drive that I store all my fics on. I dropped my laptop from my desk, and it snapped the drive right in two. Unfortunately, that was the only copy I had of my work, so I've been backing them up from AO3. Even more unfortunately, I had some upcoming fics in progress that haven't been posted yet on there, so that work has been completely lost. I've been slowly but surely trying to restore everything, and I've finally managed to finish a chapter of something in order to make an update.

So Hux knew why you had come to his quarters.  While you hadn’t been expecting to hear that, it wasn’t all that surprising.  You had known from the beginning that the plan you had devised was terrible.  He was also a smart man who was well-versed in military strategy.  All in all, it made sense that he had figured it out.  That didn’t make you feel any better about it, though.

“Did you honestly think I wasn’t going to catch on to your scheme?” he asked, not with disdain but still rather accusatorily.

“Well, I was hoping you wouldn’t,” you mumbled.

“You weren’t being very subtle about it.  Dropping by my quarters late at night to tell me about the commlink incident, going out of your way to try to make me jealous, showing up here last night – it was all quite obvious.”

“So you _were_ jealous then?”

He rolled his eyes.  “That’s beside the point.  What I want to know is why you thought-“

“I don’t think it’s beside the point,” you said defensively, becoming angry to the point of having trouble making eye contact with him.  You were leaning forward, hands at your temples, simultaneously trying to remain calm and stave off the headache that was threatening to split your skull.  “I think it’s very relevant.  Why am I the only one catching blame for this?  You’re the one who got drunk and called my commlink.  You’re the one who confessed your feelings to Commander Ren thinking it was me on the other end of the frequency.  You’re the one who keeps confusing me by acting all nice and friendly one minute and stern and commanding the next!  I just want you to tell me the truth for once instead of trying to push this off on me because I can’t take this much longer!

“I have to work right beside you every day.  I’ve gone through extensive training and signed a written statement saying that I will die to protect you.  You know that, right?  I went through a torture simulation to prove that I wouldn’t give away information about you.  If anyone ever tries to kill you, it’s extremely likely that I’ll go down at your side.”

“Yes, I’m aware.  What does that have to do with anything?” he scoffed.

“It means that I have gone to extreme measures to prove that you can trust me with First Order Secrets, with battle strategies, with sensitive documents, with your _life_ , and you won’t even trust me with something as simple as the truth.”

“What truth have I ever withheld from you?” he demanded.

“Don’t pretend to be ignorant.  I know you aren’t stupid.  You said you wanted to be my friend.  Fine, we can be friends.  That’s perfectly alright with me!  If that’s the case, though, I would prefer if you had the decency to not look down my shirt.”

General Hux cleared his throat and flushed with embarrassment.  At some point in your rant, you had noticed that the way you were leaning forward caused your pajama shirt to gape open at the front.  Furthermore, you had noticed as you spoke that the General’s eyes seemed to linger on your neckline quite a bit longer than was proper.

“Just tell me how you feel, and let it be the truth for once,” you commanded.  It felt strange to be the one giving orders.

“How I feel doesn’t matter.”

“I disagree.  It matters quite a bit.”

“Why?” he inquired with exasperation.  “Do you think that will change anything?  What do you think will happen if I tell you?  That I’m going to fuck you?  That we’re going to get married?  What do you think is going to happen next?  Absolutely nothing.  It doesn’t matter how I feel because it won’t change a single thing.”

You were silent as he continued speaking.  “Honestly, where do you think this could lead?  Having some sort of romantic relationship with you is completely out of the question.  It’s not even a possibility, and I’m not going to sleep with you, that’s for sure.”

“You don’t have to be hurtful,” you murmured.  “You could have just said that you don’t have feelings for me.”

He ignored you and kept talking.  “I’m a General, and you’re my assistant.  Anything outside of that cannot be a reality.  How I feel doesn’t change that.  It doesn’t matter how difficult it is to maintain my professionalism around you, it doesn’t matter that I have to pretend that I don’t care about you as much as I do, and it certainly doesn’t matter that I’ve been in love with you for the past two years!”


	11. An Unsure Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things are never enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be warned: you're probably going to hate Hux in this chapter.

“Excuse me?”

“I don’t need to repeat myself,” the General informed you sternly.  “You know what I said.”

“Yes, but…”

“But nothing.  As I said before, this does not change anything.”

“I’m not sure you can really argue that confessing that you’ve been in love with me for two whole years doesn’t change anything,” you pointed out.  “In fact, that changes _everything_.”

“It cannot.”

“You can’t deny that things have been changing, regardless.  Things between us aren’t the same as they used to be.  Sleeping in your bed would have been a ridiculous thought just a few weeks ago, but here I am.  Whether we like it or not, it’s all different now.”

“You don’t understand this, do you?” Hux growled with exasperation.

“No, I think that you’re the one who doesn’t understand,” you countered.  “Do you think you can just admit to two years of repressed feelings and expect us to go on with life like normal?”

“You asked for the truth, and I gave it to you.”

Your head was pounding, partially from the hangover you were dealing with and partially from anger at General Hux.  “What am I supposed to do now that I know you’re in love with me?  How do I deal with that every day?  I have a job to do – we both do.  What happens now?”

“We continue doing those jobs,” he informed you matter-of-factly. 

“How can I work for you when I know how you feel about me but also that you’ll never act on it?  Is that fair to me?”

He was silent for some time, deep in thought.  You felt the mattress dip as he sat down on the edge of the bed.  The words that came out of his mouth sounded like they pained him greatly to say.  “There are other options.  I… I could arrange for a transfer, I suppose.  There are other things you could do in the service of the First Order.  You don’t have to stay here if you don’t wish to do so.”

“We both know that’s impossible,” you scoffed.

“Not entirely,” he sighed.  “You’re a skilled woman, (Y/N).  You’ve proved yourself time and time again.  There exist a multitude of positions that you’d be capable of filling.  Furthermore, as you know, with a good word from me-“

“That’s not what I mean,” you interrupted.  “I can’t leave you.”

“Maybe it would be best for both of us.”

“No, you need an assistant.  You can’t do this job without me.  It takes forever to train a replacement; I know from experience.  How long were you without an assistant when the last one was killed?” you reminded him.  “Besides, you know you couldn’t replace me even if you wanted to.”

“You sound quite sure of yourself.”

“You said it yourself, General,” you smiled, taking one of his hands in your own.  You weren’t sure what you hoped to accomplished by the action, but it felt like a display of solidarity, if nothing else.  “I’m the only memorable one.”

Hux stared at your clasped hands for what felt like an eternity, completely silent.  He closed his eyes and shook his head gently, as if to dispel some unwanted thought.  “Absolutely unforgettable,” he said softly, bringing your hand to his lips.

As innocent as his gesture was, it was completely unprecedented.  General Hux had never made a physical show of his affection for you in the past, platonic or otherwise.  The most he had ever touched you was a firm handshake or a tap on the shoulder to get your attention.  This was completely different.

“What are you doing?” you asked him quietly. 

“My apologies.”

“No, don’t be sorry.  I just thought that you didn’t want-“

“It’s not about what I want, (Y/N),” he told you with a defeated glance.  You had never seen the General look so conflicted.  “It’s about what simply isn’t allowed.”

“What _do_ you want?”

He looked at you with sad blue eyes.  It was funny, you thought to yourself, that you had never noticed the color of his eyes before. 

“I..” he began, looking away from you.  “It doesn’t matter what-“

“Stop it. Stop saying that,” you demanded.  “Just tell me what you want.”

Staring at you with an intensity unlike anything you had previously seen, he said firmly, assuredly, “I want _you,_ (Y/N).  I know I can’t have you, but for some inexplicable reason, I’m convinced that you’re the only thing in the galaxy that could make me happy. 

“I’ve spent my entire life striving for more.  That’s how I got to where I am today.  I always thought that if I had power, if I had respect, that it would be enough.  It never has been, though.  I rose through the ranks.  I became a General of the First Order, but that wasn’t good enough. No matter what I do, there’s always more to be had.  Starkiller was going to be the end-all-be-all.  That was going to be the one thing that was finally enough.  What greater power is there than the ability to completely erase a star system from existence?  For a moment, I was right.  I felt fulfilled.  Then it was destroyed, and suddenly, it wasn’t enough anymore.”

“What are you saying?”

“The point I’m trying to get across, (Y/N), is that nothing has ever been enough for me.  Everything I’ve ever wanted has ended up being a fleeting victory, followed by the need for more.  There’s nothing I want more than you, and I’m afraid of what that means.  That’s why nothing can come of these feelings.  Everything that was supposed to be the last thing I needed, led to needing something else.  If I finally have you, what if you suddenly aren’t enough anymore?  Or what if I keep demanding more of you than you can handle?  I can’t put you through that.  I care too much about you.”

“Or maybe this really is that last thing you’ve been searching for,” you suggested.  “What if I could be enough for you?”

“Listen to what you’re saying, (Y/N),” General Hux said with a sorrowful shake of his head.  “It’s completely masochistic.”

“So what am I supposed to do with all of this?” you said after a long, awkward silence.  “Do you just want me to forget everything you told me?”

“Preferably, I would have had the good sense not to tell you any of this in the first place.”

“What happens next?”

He let go of your hand as he stood.  “I think we’ll just have to figure that out as we go along.”


	12. A Compromising Position

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything was bound to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry for updating this twice in one day instead of adding chapters to my other fics-in-progress, but I'm really feeling this one right now.
> 
> Smut happens.

The tension in the air was palpable every time you were alone together with General Hux.  There was an unspoken acknowledgement that it was best not to mention what had transpired between the two of you.  However, you couldn’t mask your discomfort from him.  Knowing how he felt about you was tearing you apart.  You hadn’t realized just how difficult it would be to be forced to spend time with him every day with the knowledge that every feeling you had for him was requited, but that he was still out of your reach.

The buzz of your commlink summoned you into the General’s office. 

“I need you to deliver a file to Captain Phasma,” he informed you when you stepped inside.  His tone was terse and inhospitable, as it had been in every one of your interactions that had taken place since his confession. He didn’t even bother to look up from the stack of papers he was filling out.  He simply held out a folder for you to take.  You circled around the desk and grabbed the folder from his hand.  You were about to turn to go when he grabbed your wrist.

You froze beside his chair, startled by the contact.  It was the first time he had touched you since you had held his hand.  You harkened back to the sensation of his lips brushing across your knuckles, and you shivered, equally from the pleasant memory and the new discomfort that you felt in his presence.

“I left something out of the file,” he said, grabbing a paper from his desk and sliding it into the folder.  Of course.  The touch hadn’t meant anything.  You were back to the staunch professionalism that had previously comprised your working relationship.

“I’ll deliver it right away, sir,” you assured him stiffly.

“Before you go, (Y/N), I want to apologize.”

“What for, sir?”

“I’m sorry for the things I said to you.  It was wrong for me to put that on you.  I can see that you’re uncomfortable around me, and I don’t blame you for that.  It’s all my fault, and I’m sorry.”

“You meant the things you said,” you told him blankly.  “You told me the truth.  You shouldn’t have to apologize for that.”

“I did mean it, and I still do, but I’m sorry that my answers couldn’t be different.”

“Alright then,” you said, eager to leave his office before the tears you felt welling up in your eyes could begin to fall.

“(Y/N), you deserve so much better than me.”

“If anything, you deserve better than me,” you choked, feeling the first teardrop roll down your cheek.

“There is no one better than you,” he said softly, reaching up to wipe the tear from your cheek.  “Not in the whole entire galaxy.”

It all happened so fast that you weren’t even sure what had led up to your current position.  Somehow, you had progressed from crying beside his desk to sitting on top of it, placing open-mouthed kisses along General Hux’s sharp jawline as he unbuttoned your shirt.  Your raked your fingers through his fiery locks, marveling at how well disheveled hair suited him and paying no mind to how much time it had taken him to make it lay so flat.  The file folder had fallen to the ground, completely forgotten as something far more important took precedence. 

In no time at all, Hux’s thin fingers had undone every one of your buttons, leaving your shirt open at the front.  He didn’t waste a single second before pulling it off of you and staring in awe at your bared skin.  Before bothering to remove your pants, he unhooked your bra, sliding the straps down your shoulders to reveal what was underneath.  In just a short time, you were completely stripped, bared before the General in a way you hadn’t even dreamed about.

His own uniform came off piece by piece until there was only one thin barrier of fabric separating you from the enormous bulge you could see outlined.  You stared at the pale expanse of his body.  You had seen him in his underwear before, but that had been different.  That had been an innocent encounter – well, a _more_ innocent encounter.  You recalled that General Hux had not been regretful when he had been under that impression that you had slept together.  You could only hope that he felt the same way when it really happened.

Finally, the General’s hard cock sprang free of the restricting cloth, and you gaped at the sight of him.  After a moment of staring, you reached out and wrapped your hand around him, smiling when he gasped.  He was practically throbbing with want, the vein along the underside of his shaft begging to be touched.  What could you do but oblige?  A low sound of pleasure emerged from deep in his throat as you began to pump your hand up and down.

Just as he was beginning to obviously enjoy himself, the sound of the General’s commlink beeping startled him out of his euphoria.

“General Hux,” the voice on the other end of the line, which you recognized as Captain Phasma, said, “I have to come by your part of the ship for other business, so there’s no need to have the file delivered to me.  I’ll be by to pick it up myself in approximately five minutes.”

He looked at you pointedly, “Can you finish in five minutes?”

You were taken aback by his question.  “What?”

“If we start right now, can you finish in less than five minutes?”

“I don’t know.  Maybe.”

“Maybe isn’t good enough,” Hux said with a shake of his head, picking up your discarded articles of clothing from the floor and handing them to you.  “We don’t have time for maybe.”

“Excuse me?”

“My quarters,” he stated, pulling his underwear back on.  “Tonight.”

“Wait…” You sat on the desk as you watched him get dressed, still holding your own clothes in a bundle.

“Unless you don’t want to,” he assured you hurriedly, tugging on his uniform shirt and fastening the front.  “Only if you want to.”

“Your hair,” you pointed out as he smoothed the front of his uniform.  You grabbed him by the shoulders to pull him down closer to your level and carefully combed your fingers through his hair until it regained some semblance of its earlier sleekness.

“Thank you,” he said breathlessly.  “I completely forgot.  Now, you need to get dressed.”

By the time Captain Phasma arrived to collect her folder, you were seated at your desk as if nothing had ever happened.


	13. A Night Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You spend yet another evening in Hux's quarters, but things are different this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think that the next chapter is going to wrap things up. If I can fit all the things I'm planning on into chapter 14, that will be the end, but if not, it will stretch on until the story gets where I want it to go. Thanks for sticking around for this one, and thanks for all your kudos and comments. 
> 
> This chapter is pretty much smut from start to finish, and you may or may not hate me at the end of it.

“You came,” General Hux observed with surprise as you entered his quarters once again.  “I wasn’t sure that you would.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Things haven’t been the same between us lately.  I thought that I might have scared you away.”

You raised an eyebrow.  “What gave you that impression, General – when I let you take off all my clothes or when my hand was wrapped around your dick?”

“I mean with the things I said before.  I thought you might have changed your mind.”

“Definitely not.”

“There’s still time to back out of this,” he informed you. 

“Why would I do that?”

“Because I already told you that whatever is happening between us can’t happen.  There’s no hope here for a relationship,” he stressed to you.  “I can’t promise you a future.”

“Can you promise me tonight?”

“Yes,” General Hux said, taking your hands in his.  “I can give you one night.”

“That’s enough for me.”

“It will never be enough for me,” he assured you, “but that’s all I can let this be.”

“You can let it be whatever you want,” you said, wanting him to understand that the limitations he was putting on himself were pointless.  There was no reason that the two of you couldn’t be together.  Why couldn’t he see that?  “I’m here.  You can have me.  I’m yours for as long as you want me.”

“Don’t say that,” he said seriously.  “Do you realize what you’d be doing to yourself?  I know you, and you aren’t this self-destructive.”

“I’m not self-destructive.  I’m in love.”

“Don’t be.”

“It’s too late,” you whispered, standing on your tiptoes to kiss him.

You melted as his arms wrapped around you.  He kissed you with two years’ worth of built up passion, and you wanted him to never let you go.  Your legs circled his waist as he lifted you up and carried you to his bed.  You fell back against it with a light bounce when he let go of you.

The General pulled off his shirt, tossing it off to the side.  Where it landed was obviously of no concern to him.  The rest of his clothing followed suit one piece at a time until he was once again wearing only the boxer briefs that had separated the two of you earlier in the day. 

“I’ve been waiting for this for so long,” he breathed heavily, reaching down to help you out of your clothes.  “You don’t know how badly I want you.”

“Oh, I think I have an idea,” you intoned as seductively as you could manage, cupping his hard member with your hand.  “You’re making it pretty obvious.”

“No interruptions this time,” he promised you, tugging off your panties.  “It’s just us.”

“Are you going to take my bra off?” you asked, wondering why he had taken your underwear off first.

“Eventually,” Hux said with a wicked grin before leaning down and dragging his tongue across your clit. 

You threw your head back in ecstasy.  General Hux licked and sucked in all the right places with skill you hadn’t expected.  The man was an absolute expert who knew exactly what to do to make you moan.

“Mmmmm,” you hummed with pleasure as he slid two fingers inside of you, thrusting them a few times before pulling them out.  “Why are you stopping?”

“Because.” He paused to lick his fingers, which sent a shiver down your spine.  The visual made you giddy with anticipation for whatever he would do next.  “I think you’re wet enough to take me.  Are you ready?”

All you could manage was a nod as he finally took off your bra. 

“Tell me you want this.”

“I want it,” you promised.  “I want it so much.”

As soon as he was assured that you hadn’t changed your mind, you watched with rapt attention as he slid off his underwear.  You could see immediately that he was just as ready as you were.  He wrapped his hand around his fully erect cock and lined it up with your dripping core.  You waited with bated breath for him to thrust into you, and you were unable to suppress a groan when he finally plunged in.

If his mouth and fingers had brought you pleasure, then this was pure bliss.  He was slow and meticulous, different than you had expected.  You had anticipated him to be rough and commanding, like he was so much of the time you were with him, but here in his bed, Hux was gentle and more than generous.  He used one of his hands to support his weight, but the other roamed your body, feeling and teasing.  Each thrust of his hips was perfectly timed, filling you up in all the right ways.

One of your favorite parts, though, was the collection of sounds that he made.  Just as you had expected him to be rough, you had also predicted a certain amount of silence from the General.  He surprised you with his grunts and groans, and you took pleasure in the way he cried out.  It delighted you to know that you were making him feel just as good as he made you.

There reached a point when you could tell he was approaching release.  His movements had become less rhythmic, more erratic.  He trailed a hand down to where the two of you were joined and began to rub your clit in small, mesmerizing circles. 

“Oh, Hux!” you cried with rapture as he brought you to the edge.  Your body convulsed from the overwhelming sensation of your climax.

General Hux pulled out, pumping his throbbing shaft in his fist.  With one final moan, he came on your stomach.  When he had finished, he lay down beside you in his bed.  His messy hair and glazed-over eyes were out of character, and it felt like another invasion of privacy to see him this way, just like when you had seen him drunk.  You knew it was different this time, but for some reason, it felt exactly the same.

He lay beside you with a satisfied grin on his face, his eyes on you, watching you closely.  Hux pulled you closer to him, still just as enamored with you as he had been before.  He had promised you one night, and he had given it to you.  You knew not to expect anything more, but the look on his face said something else.

As you stared up at the ceiling, completely spent, you reflected on all that had happened.  There you were, lying in the General’s bed with the man who had told you that he loved you but would never be with you – lying there freshly fucked with his semen smeared across your stomach and his eyes looking at you with adoration.  As you thought about what would happen tomorrow, you didn't know if you would ever be able to look him in the eye again.  Everything had changed, and now everything was over.  Your professional relationship had gone down the drain, along with every boundary that Hux had placed between the two of you. You had slept with your boss, you had allowed him to fuck you after he told you that the two of you could never have a relationship, and you regretted every bit of it.  You had never felt so disgusting in your entire life.


	14. A Regrettable Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You make one of the most difficult decisions of your life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it ends...

It was supposed to be one night.  That was all he had promised you, and that was all you had expected.  However, it was certainly not the last night you spent in the General’s bed.  It wasn’t even the next-to-last time.  You couldn’t stay away from each other.  Despite his constant warnings that sleeping with you was wrong and that he couldn’t be in a relationship with you, you just kept coming back.  Almost a month into the affair, you showed up at his door – just like you had almost every other night.

“Come in,” Hux said, pulling you into his quarters and circling you with his arms.  He wasted no time, eagerly kissing you and trailing his lips down to your neck.  You sighed as he tenderly bit down on the sensitive flesh there.  A month was a long time, and he had learned exactly what you liked.

“That’s not why I came here tonight,” you said weakly, trying your best to sound assertive.  It was so much more difficult than you had imagined to keep a clear head while he did his best to unravel you.

“Then why are you here?”

You pushed him away gently, trying to think of the best way to phrase what you were about to say.  “Remember when you said that there were other ways I could serve the First Order, that there were other jobs I could do?”

“Yes, I suppose I do,” he said with some confusion, clearly not seeing the point of your question.

“You said that with a good word from you…”

“What are you saying, (Y/N)?” You could see realization sinking in.

“Sir, I want you to transfer me.”

“Where would you go?”

“I don’t know.  Another ship, another base… Maybe the Subjugator,” you suggested.  “Anywhere but here.”

“But why?  When I brought up the idea before, you didn’t want to leave.  Why now?”

“Things changed.”

“Everything changed,” he mused, repeating your own words back to you from nearly a month before.  “You knew all along that it would.”

“You won’t change, though.  That’s the problem.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that I can’t take this anymore,” you said sadly.  “I’m done.  You tell me you love me, but we can’t be together.  But you fuck me, and you tell me how much I mean to you.  We sleep together, but you remind me how wrong it is and that we can never have anything more.  It was supposed to be one night.  You promised me the one night, but it wasn’t enough, was it?  You knew from the beginning that it wouldn’t be enough for you.”

“You’re enough.”

“No, I’m done.  Either we can be together, or we can’t.   Hot or cold: choose one.”

“Are you sure you want to go?”

“I’m sure,” you promised.

“I can’t stop you, can I?”

“I’m afraid not.”

***

“Come in!” shouted a voice from the other side of the door.

“Hello,” you called back, stepping inside.  “Did you know it was me?”

“No one else would come to my quarters this late at night,” Hux said loudly.  You still hadn’t located him, so you were relying on the sound of his voice to give away his position.  “Besides that, I was expecting you.”

“Expecting me?” You glanced around.

“It’s your last night.  I supposed you would come by.”

“Am I really that predictable?”

“Yes.” He stuck his head out of the open bathroom door.  “You really are.”

“What are you doing?”

“Something I should have dealt with a long time ago.”

You peered your head into the bathroom, surprised to see the floor littered with empty glass bottles and numerous full bottles sitting on every available surface.  You watched with awe as the General poured the contents of one down the sink.

“Seriously, what are you doing?”

“I’m getting rid of it all,” he informed you, taking a drink from the bottle in his right hand, while he continued the pour out the one in his left.

“Why?”

“Because I’ve come to the quite obvious conclusion that I’m an alcoholic,” he stated plainly, “and also because you’re leaving.  I don’t predict that those two situations will mesh in a very pleasant way.”

“You’re pouring it all out?”

“It’s the reason we’re in this mess to begin with.  We could have lived the rest of our lives in comfortable professional companionship, but instead I doubt we’ll see each other again. It’s all because I drank too much and came up with the brilliant idea to do some confessing.”

“I have a feeling we’ll meet again,” you said with sad optimism.  “I don’t think the Force would keep us apart forever.”

“I still love you, (Y/N).  I want you to know that before you go.”

You looked down at the floor, unable to make eye contact with Hux.  “I’m sorry I couldn’t be enough for you, General.”

He set down the bottles and hesitantly placed his hand on your cheek.  The tenderness of his touch was overwhelming.  “You were enough, (Y/N).  I just couldn’t give you enough of myself.  I wish I could go back and change that, but I suppose it’s too late now.”

“Is it?”

“If I could find a way to make you stay, I would,” the General said somberly.  “I’m going to miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you too.”

“Not just because of how I feel about you,” he expounded.  “You’ve been the best assistant I’ve ever had.  I’m going to miss working by your side every day.  The crew of the Subjugator should count themselves extremely fortunate to be gaining someone as dedicated as you.”

You felt tears welling up in your eyes.  “If you really wanted to, you could make me stay.  You could just say the word and keep me here forever.”

“No, I couldn’t.  You don’t belong to me, (Y/N); I don’t control your life.  Above all else, I want you to be happy, and I don’t think you’re happy here anymore.  I ruined everything, didn’t I?”

“No, you didn’t.” You couldn’t hold back the tears anymore, and they began to stream down your face.  “I can’t leave here letting you think that you ruined my life.  I’m just as much at fault in all of this as you are.”

“I’ll take the blame for everything if it keeps you here,” he said, brushing a teardrop from your cheek.

“I heard they’ve started training a new assistant,” you brought up, desperately trying to change the topic of conversation.  “Do you think he’ll be a good replacement?”

“No,” General Hux said, pulling you into a comforting embrace and resting his forehead against yours.  “I don’t think so.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re absolutely irreplaceable.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for writing another fic with a sad ending.
> 
> Thank you for sticking with it through this entire fic, everyone. I know there were some unexpected breaks in between updates and a lot of irregularity. I especially want to thank everyone who left kudos and comments on this story. Your feedback is what makes it all worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave comments letting me know what you think.


End file.
